人們常說,愛情總是在你發現之前,悄悄來到,然後在你預備好之前,拂袖離開;你還記得自己是在幾歲時初瞥見愛情的模樣?她說:「即使我還沒有遇到愛情,如果愛情在我家徘徊,我能一眼看出它。」我們今天要讀的,是一首關於愛的期望和現實的詩。
七年級時,我確切地知道愛情是什麼樣的。
I knew exactly what love looked like in seventh grade.
即使我還沒有遇到愛情,如果愛情在我家徘徊,我能一眼看出。愛,穿戴著一條麻質項鍊。
Even though I hadn’t met love yet, if love had wandered into my homeroom I would’ve recognized him at first glance. Love wore a hemp necklace.
我會一眼認出她,愛,束著一條緊緊的法式辮子。
I would’ve recognized her at first glance, love wore a tight french braid.
愛,演奏吉他,並且知道我最喜歡的披頭四歌曲。
Love played acoustic guitar and knew all my favorite Beatles songs.
愛,並不害怕和我一起坐公共汽車。
Love wasn’t afraid to ride the bus with me.
我知道,
And I knew,
我一定是找錯了教室,
I just must be searching the wrong classrooms,
只是我必須檢查那些錯誤的走廊,她在那裡,我很確定。
just must be checking the wrong hallways, she was there, I was sure of it.
只要我能找到他。
If only I could find him.
但是,當愛終於出現時,
But when love finally showed up,
她頂著一個「湯碗頭」
she had a bowl cut.
他一個星期每天都穿著同樣的衣服。
He wore the same clothes every day for a week.
愛,恨公共汽車。
Love hated the bus.
愛,對披頭四一無所知。
Love didn’t know anything about The Beatles.
甚至
Instead,
我每次嘗試親吻愛情,
every time I try to kiss love,
我們的牙齒總是撞上了。
our teeth got in the way.
愛,成了我欺騙父母的原因。
Love became the reason I lied to my parents.
我要去Ben的家。
I’m going to- Ben’s house.
愛,在舞池上的節奏感很糟,但我們從未錯過任何一首慢歌。
Love had terrible rhythm on the dance floor, but made sure we never missed a slow song.
愛,在電話一端等著,因為她知道,如果她的父親拿起了電話,那將是:
Love waited by the phone because she knew that if her father picked up it would be:
「你好?你好?(沉重的呼吸聲),我猜他們掛了。」
“Hello? Hello? (heavy breathing) I guess they hung up.”
愛情成長了,
And love grew,
像彈床一樣伸展開來。
stretched like a trampoline.
愛改變了。
Love changed.
愛消失了,慢慢地,就像嬰兒的牙齒一樣,失去了我曾以為自己需要的部分。
Love disappeared, slowly, like baby teeth, losing parts of me I thought I needed.
– 節錄自美國詩人Sarah Kay和Phil Kaye的〈When Love Arrives〉一詩
每個人心裏都各自有著愛情的模樣,說的不是清楚了然的擇偶清單,而是你我都曾經幻想過「將來另一半要是這樣那有多好」:他幻想她會束著一條緊緊的法式辮子,她想像他會懂得演奏吉他、會為自己演奏樂隊披頭四(The Beatles)的歌曲。在愛情來臨之前,我們都會有許多的憧憬,例如與愛人一起坐公共汽車,想著那該會有多浪漫;憧憬是肥皂泡,而幻想力則把肥皂泡吹得愈來愈大,在半空悠然的飄浮起來。然而,愛情會親自戳破這個肥皂泡。到頭來,叫你真正愛上的人,未必是束著辮子,甚至可能是蓄短髪、對樂器一竅不通;可是,那個肥皂泡內的一切,對於遇見愛情的我們來說,都不再重要。
愛情沒有既定的模樣,像美國詩人Sarah Kay 和 Phil Kaye在〈When Love Arrives〉一詩的尾段那樣說:
愛情總是在該來的時候到達,
Love arrives exactly when love is supposed to
在必須離開時完全消失;
And love leaves exactly when love must
當愛情到來時,
When love arrives say,
讓我們說一聲:「歡迎,自便吧。」
“Welcome, make yourself comfortable”
如果愛要離開,請她不用順手關門。
If love leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her
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DESIGN: WINNIE.F/ HOKK FABRICA
12 April 2019, 12:00 AM
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