【13 Things專訪】媽媽終於明白我為何要去健體──遇見性別流動倡導者小風
在 驕 傲 月,
我 們 一 瞥 一 道 道 散 落 在 亞 洲 不 同 角 落 的 彩 虹,
邀 請 了 來 自 日 本、新 加 坡、台 灣、香 港 的 酷 兒 分 享 TA 們 的 13 件 事,
回 首 生 命 中 的 滂 沱 大 雨,
幻 想 彩 虹 彼 端 的 烏 托 邦。
On Pride Month, let us take a peek at rainbows scattered across Asia.
Inspirational queer faces from Japan, Singapore, Taiwan and Hong Kong.
Reminiscing their rainy days in life, and imagining a world over the rainbow.
#HFASKS
你生命中最自豪的一刻?
「當我首次穿上比堅尼參加女子健美比賽,發現自己的性別認同可以更流動,不用將自己置於或男或女的框架內。」小風既是詩人,也是健美運動員,TA同時從事性別研究,並且在大學任教學助理。過去Hf曾經寫過有關小風的故事,這次適逢同志驕傲月,小風在香港首間人文圖書館「打書釘」,跟大家談談香港的酷兒圈。
“When I donned my first bikini for a bodybuilding competition, I realised that gender can be more fluid, I don’t have to be confined by a binary construction of gender.” Siu Fung, poet and a bodybuilder, shares their journey of owning their rainbow, and their vision of moving freely within the rainbow.
點擊回顧Hf跟小風的完整專訪
在小風看來,「所有歧視都是源自於不理解」,除了在香港我們對LBGTI的支援和所舉辦的活動都是相當的不足之外,TA更發覺有許多酷兒覺得爭取權益只是Activists做的事。「其實很需要透過每一個人去走出來,無論是參與有關LGBTI的活動,或是分享自己的故事,令公眾更理解我們的生活,以及在社會上面對的不公對待。」
有見及此,小風為核心成員之一的「打書釘」將會積極舉辦「更多有關性別方面的活動、講座、工作坊,希望促進大眾與性小眾間的互動與溝通。」除了主流與酷兒間的鴻溝,小風更提到酷兒社群之間相互理解的重要性,透過交流明白彼此的生活和處境,並相信兩年後的亞洲同志運動會將會令香港和亞洲的性小眾會更團結。
“Discrimination stems from misunderstanding.” Siu Fung notices the Hong Kong LGBTI community lacks support and there are rarely any events related to certain issues. They, then, explain the need for bridging mainstream and sexual minorities. “Everyone ought to take part in the movement, be it LGBTI activities or sharing their journey. It helps the public to understand how we have been treated unfairly.” Speaking of facilitating communication among queers, Siu Fung is particularly looking forward to the first Asia sporting and cultural event Gay Game 2022, “I believe the event will help unite the sexual minority in Hong Kong and Asia.”
現在,送上我們與小風的完整彩虹對話。
Here is our rainbow dialogue with Siu Fung.
HF:HOKK Fabrica | SF:小風/Siu Fung
HF:請簡單介紹一下你自己。
Please briefly describe yourself to the reader.
SF:我是小風,是一位大學教學助理,亦是一名職業健美運動員。我的原生性別是女性 ,社交性別則是男性,而在運動上我以女性的身份參加比賽。
My name is Siufung. I am an undergraduate teaching assistant and an IFBB pro bodybuilder. I was assigned female at birth and socially as a man. I compete as a female bodybuilder.
HF: 你的性別身分是什麼?
What is your gender identity?
SF:我的性別認同是性別流動 gender queer 或是gender fluid,而我是一位泛性戀者。即是我喜歡一個人,不是因為其性別或性別認同。
I identify myself as gender queer or gender fluid. I am pansexual, which means I like a person regardless of their sex or gender identity.
HF: 你是如何找到自己的「彩虹」?
How did you find your own pride?
SF:在2015,當我首次穿上比堅尼參加女子健美比賽,發現自己的性別認同可以更流動,不用將自己置於或男或女的框架內。
I found my own pride In 2015, when I put on my first bikini for a bodybuilding competition. At that moment I realised my gender can be fluid, it does not have to be binary.
HF: 你生命中最自豪的一刻?
What was your proudest moment in life?
SF:在2016年第二年參與健美比賽,也是唯一一次我媽媽前來觀賽。我記得媽媽來後台,第一件跟我說的事是:「我覺得你應該奪冠,而不是殿軍!」媽媽一直反對我健美、健體;在那刻我覺得媽媽終於明白我為何要去健體。
I entered my second bodybuilding competition in 2016, it was the only time mother came to watch me compete. I remembered she walked to the backstage, the first thing she told me was, “You should have won, not fourth.” My mother was always against my bodybuilding career, but from that day on, she started acknowledging my passion.
另外是每一次分享後,有觀眾前來跟我說我的分享能讓他反思自己的人生和身份認同。讓我很驕傲和感動的是可以幫助別人走出黑暗。
Another eventful moment would be an audience showing his appreciation after I shared my journey of finding my identity and passion in life. He said my openness had inspired him to reflect upon his life and gender identity, and I was quite moved. These were my proudest moments, helping others going through dark times.
HF: 對你而言,「驕傲」一詞代表什麼?
What does “Pride” mean to you?
SF:是很有自信和勇氣走出來告訴大家:我與主流不同,因為社會是應該有多元方法來表達自己。
Pride is to announce yourself with confidence and courage: I do not conform. We should be given the freedom to express ourselves within the society.
HF: 對你而言,「身分」一詞代表什麼?
What does “Identity” mean to you?
SF:一種認同感,身分會令我們更認識自己;同時不應讓「身分」或標籤侷限了對自己的想像。
Identity gives you a sense of belonging, it helps us to understand ourselves. At the same time we should not be bound to it, which might hinder our ability to visualise new identities.
HF: 你在什麼時候最自信?
When do you feel the most confident/comfortable?
SF:當我參加健美比賽,我都會用12-16星期去準備,所以在台上穿上自己挑選的比堅尼,化上妝容,自己的肌肉、線條,展現努力成果,那就是我最自信的時候。
Every time I enter a bodybuilding competition, it takes me 12 to 16 weeks to prepare. From choosing my stage bikini, putting on makeup, to striking my physique poses, there is a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment from hard work. Those are the moments when I feel most confident.
HF: 分享但願自己在擁抱彩虹前知道的事。
What are the things you wish you knew before owning your rainbow?
SF:我不是自己一個人,即使我總覺得只有我與他人想法不同,其實世界上還有許多人,有同樣的性別認同和想法。
I wish I knew I was not alone. At times it feels like I have a peculiar point of view in life, yet I know there are many others who share similar visions with me.
HF:關於香港酷兒圈,你想說的是?
One thing to know about LGBTQ+ community in Hong Kong?
SF:我覺得所有歧視是源自於不理解。在香港我們對LBGTI的支援和所舉辦的活動都是相當的不足。我身處的地方(編按:影片拍攝場地),其實是「打書釘」香港首間人文圖書館。我亦是其中一位核心成員。這𥚃的藏書也有包含性小眾、性別研究的書籍;我們計劃未來舉辦更多有關性別方面的活動、講座、工作坊,希望促進大眾與性小眾間的互動與溝通。
Discrimination stems from misunderstanding.What I have noticed is the LGBTI community in Hong Kong lacks support, there are rarely any events related to certain issues.Where I am recording this video is a place called “Nose in the Books”, Hong Kong’s first independent Library. I am one of the core members in the group. We have a section for gender and sexual minorities studies. We are planning to organise more events to explore the topics of gender, hoping to build the bridge between mainstream and sexual minorities.
HF:你想對酷兒群體說的話。
Message you want to share with fellow LGBTQ+ community?
SF:有許多Gay Les Trans覺得爭取權益只是Activists做的事。自己最想跟這個群體說的話是,其實很需要透過每一個人去走出來,無論是參與有關LGBTI的活動,或是分享自己的故事,令公眾更理解我們的生活,以及在社會上面對的不公對待。
People in the community thought it is an activist’s job to fight for LGBTI Rights. What I’d like to say to them is everyone ought to take part in the movement, be it LGBTI activities or sharing their journey. It helps the public to understand how we have been treated unfairly.
HF:你最喜歡的LGBTQ +書?
Your favorite LGBTQ+ Novel?
SF:Female Masculinity,作者Jack Halberstam。他用理論的形式作電影和visual images分析,解剖這個沒有男性的Masculinity。我本身是進行性別研究,所以這本書對我有特別大的啟發。
Female Masculinity by Jack Halberstam. Through textual analysis of movies and visual images he deciphered the myth of exclusive masculinity, which Halberstam stated female masculinity exists and has been subordinated. It is an inspirational book for gender studies students, and helped me on finding my own identity.
HF: 對LGBT文化的未來有何展望?
What do you foresee for the future of LGBT culture?
SF: 兩年之後我們將會有gay games,亞洲第一個大型的運動、文化活動。我相信gay games後,無論香港或亞洲的性小眾會更團結。我期望將來普羅大眾會視性小眾只是其中一種人的類別。
“Gay games” is happening in two years, the first sporting and cultural event in Asia. I believe the event will help unite the sexual minority in Hong Kong and Asia. My hope for the future is sexual minorities will be accepted as norms among the society.
Instagram: siufung_law / nose.in.the.books
PRODUCTION: HOKK MEDIA
INTERVIEW AND TEXT: YANNI W / HOKK FABRICA
VIDEO: SONIA C / HOKK FABRICA
TRANSCREATION: DAWNY TSOI
DESIGN: WINNIE F / HOKK FABRICA
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