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【13 Things專訪】希望將來能和男朋友在日本舉行婚禮──遇見粉雄救兵日本篇主角Kan

hokk fabrica online magazine 原來不只一種模樣

在 驕 傲 月,

我 們 一 瞥 一 道 道 散 落 在 亞 洲 不 同 角 落 的 彩 虹,

邀 請 了 來 自 日 本、新 加 坡、台 灣、香 港 的 酷 兒 分 享 TA 們 的 13 件 事,

回 首 生 命 中 的 滂 沱 大 雨,

幻 想 彩 虹 彼 端 的 烏 托 邦。

On Pride Month, let us take a peek at rainbows scattered across Asia.

Inspirational queer faces from Japan, Singapore, Taiwan and Hong Kong.

Reminiscing their rainy days in life, and imagining a world over the rainbow.

#HFASKS
你最大的恐懼是什麼?

日本 同志 同性婚姻 kanyonce

「當我聽Beyoncé時最自信。」Kan曾出演實況真人秀《粉雄救兵》日本篇,從加拿大留學時初嚐到活出真我的喜悅,至回流日本生活經歷了反向文化衝擊,彷彿失去了出國留學時曾經擁抱的彩虹。可是,他後來「明白你的性向是與生俱來的,你的痛苦不是來自於自己,而是我們身處的社會。」因此,與其掩飾自己迎合日本社會,他學會在祖國活出彩虹,他現在熱衷於爭取日本同性婚姻合法化,希望將來能和男朋友在日本舉行婚禮。

“I’m most confident in myself when I listen to Beyoncé.” Kan, most known for starring in the long-running reality series “Queer Eye”, shares his struggles claming his rainbow back in Japan.

After studying in Canada and London, Kan experienced a reverse culture shock when he moved back to Japan. Suffering anxiety in the collective culture of Japan, it felt as if he had lost the rainbow he once embraced while studying abroad. “There’s nothing wrong with yourself. Then, what’s wrong? The society.” Instead of concealing himself to fit into the Japanese norm, Kan learned to embrace his rainbow in his homeland. He uses his fame to help legalizing same-sex marriage in Japan and hopes to marry his boyfriend in Japan one day.

 

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Kan在日本的鄉村地區長大,自從五歲起就知道自己與其他人有所不同。他回憶說:「同學們叫我Okama,譏笑我是個娘娘腔。」自小遭同輩欺凌的Kan暗暗訂立了第一個人生目標:出國留學。也許在彼邦的某個地方,會有一道幸福的彩虹等著他。

Raised in the country area of Japan, he knew he was different from the others since he was five. “I was often called okama which means faggot in Japanese,” he recalled. These harsh remarks led to his ultimate goal then: to study abroad. There might be happiness waiting for him somewhere, over the rainbow.

日本 同志 同性婚姻 kanyonce

 

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他的願望實現了。Kan在加拿大學習時找到了自己的彩虹驕傲,他憶道:「2013年,我在加拿大結識了第一位同志好友,和他作伴讓我踏出了彩虹人生的第一步。」和他幻想的一樣,Kan 在彼邦披上了新衣、嚐盡五彩繽紛的新生活。畢業之後他前往倫敦深造,遇到了他的一生摯愛Tom。

His wish was granted. Kan found his own pride while studying in Canada, “I made a gay best friend in Canada in 2013, and finally found out I could be myself, being whoever I wanted to be,” he said. Kan was savoring his new life and identity, multicolored. He attended graduate school in London afterwards, and met the love of his life, Tom.

 

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可生活從來不是一帆風順。儘管異鄉的生活像如魚得水,他還是選擇回國。但當Kan回到日本後,經歷到逆向文化衝擊。為了適應日本的集體文化,他努力重新調整自己,不自覺踏回櫃中。他試圖融入崇尚簡約美學的日本,單色調襯衫取代了昔日的五彩衣櫥,曾經擁抱過的彩虹日子不再。Kan不但與愛人相隔千里,生活上的一切都叫他沮喪、焦慮。在這段失去色彩的日子,雖然他曾經打算離開日本,卻因為捨不得珍愛的家人和朋友,以及熱愛的事業而選擇留下來。

Life was not always rainbows and butterflies. Though there was more freedom to express who he was, he missed the place where he was born and raised in. Kan experienced a reverse culture shock when he moved back to Japan. Trying hard to readjust himself in the collective culture of Japan, he shuffled his feet back into the closet again. The once multicolored wardrobe he had was replaced by monotone shirts, catered to the minimalistic aesthetics of Japan.

A stark contrast to his colored days, and his lover was miles apart. Life was wearing him down, he started having severe anxiety. It felt as if he had lost the rainbow he once embraced, the taste of it was fading. Kan thought about leaving Japan, a place where people expected others to act a certain way, yet he had friends and family that he treasured dearly, and a career that he was passionate about.

 

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現在,送上我們與Kan的完整彩虹對話。

Here is our rainbow dialogue with Kan.

HF:HOKK Fabrica | K:Kan

HF:你如何回憶起自己在學校/年輕時的LGBT的經歷?
How do you recall your experience being LGBT+ at school when you were younger?

K:我在讀書時期常常被同學欺凌,他們叫我「娘娘腔」(Okama直譯:屁股),是日本對人妖或男同性戀的蔑稱。成長的過程很孤獨,那時候以為往後的日子都會比人過得艱難。
It was very difficult. I was often called “Okama” which means faggot in Japanese. I always thought my life would never be easy.

日本 同志 同性婚姻 kanyonce

HF:你最大的恐懼是什麼?
What are you afraid of?

K:年輕時最大的恐懼是面對自己的性向,選擇自責和否認,鼓起勇氣出櫃後那恐懼就消失了。現在可以坦然接受自己的性向,知道那是我的一部分。
When I was young, I couldn’t accept myself and was afraid of being gay. But I’m not afraid of anything now as I accepted my sexuality and know being gay is simply a part of myself.

HF:你最關注的日本社會議題?
What issues and causes are you passionate about and why?

K:現在最熱衷爭取日本同性婚姻合法化,希望將來能和男朋友在日本舉行婚禮。
I’m particularly passionate for legalizing same sex marriage in Japan. Because I would like to marry my boyfriend in Japan.

HF:你希望如何影響未來?
How do you want to influence the future?

K:我希望透過分享我的經歷鼓勵他人,成為跨他人的榜樣。
If I could be a role model to someone, that would be amazing.

HF:你對想要擁抱彩虹的人有什麼建議?
What is your advice for people who want to embrace their rainbow?

K: 不要自責,勇敢去擁抱彩虹,因為你沒有錯。錯的是什麼?我們身處的社會。我們需要積極改變它!
You should embrace your rainbow because there’s nothing wrong with yourself. Then, what’s wrong? The society. We need to fix it!

HF:「愛」對你意味著什麼?
What is the meaning of “love” to you?

K:記得用了很長的時間才明白什麼叫愛,最後發現要愛其他人,首先要學懂愛自己。
It took me a long time to finally understand how love really works. I realized that I need to love myself to love others.

Instagram: kanyonce

PRODUCTION: HOKK MEDIA
INTERVIEW AND TEXT: YANNI W / HOKK FABRICA
VIDEO: SONIA C / HOKK FABRICA
TRANSCREATION: DAWNY TSOI
DESIGN: WINNIE F / HOKK FABRICA
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