以模特兒為夢想的女生往往被人形容為「發明星夢」（不設實際）。Cara Delevinge、Gigi Hadid多姿多彩的生活，自不然會令很多少女心生羨慕。然而，光環背後，模特兒也存在不少掙扎。這回來到Fame Issue，我們跟一位來自泰國的九十後模特兒談過。究竟她是怎樣入行？成為模特兒後，她又是如何在忠於自己與取悅他人之間找到平衡？
That was what made me a wanderer.
Cheraims，為人簡單和懶惰，每天持守 YOLO（你只會活一次）的態度，目前在香港生活，五年後打算回國跟朋友開一間名叫MAKE HELL LIKE HOME、結合酒廊與畫室的公共空間。
My name is Cheraim. I’m 23 years old and it’s been five years since I first started modelling. I’m from the suburbs of Thailand, a very ordinary town, I must say, nothing special nothing exciting.
As a kid I’ve never thought I’d become a model. People thought I was too plain, too blunt and too tom-boyish, not ‘feminine’ enough (though I’d never thought of myself like that).
Therefore, in such quietness I became a dreamer. Ever since I could remember, I was always surrounded by the smell of old books, and dust on the wooden floor. My world was in those pages and later on paper, filled with strokes and colours.
That was what made me a wanderer.
It has always been my dream to travel far enough to the places that only exist in the hearts of men. I can see vast landscapes, places that hold special meanings to yourself just like brushstrokes on the canvas.
Modelling was one of the mysterious things in my life. I had thought, as a child, I was ugly because I was so thin and tall like a dry, crooked branch.
When I was approached by some scouter back then for multiple times, my dad turned them down. One day an old acquaintance asked me to be part of the cast in a movie. Unexpectedly, I got a small role and was noticed by the producer. (It’s funny that my acquaintance remained an extra and never talked to me again. Lol.)
However, I didn’t want to be an actress at all.
Miraculously, I ran into a stylist and editor of Women’s Health Thailand on the same day and that’s how I got my first two editorial shootings in two magazines. The magazines introduced me to my current agency in Bangkok. The first casting wasn’t a good experience. I didn’t know anything – how to walk on heels, what to wear, how to act. I was (and am still) different from other girls. I wore unfashionable jeans, sweater, and clay-stained converses from my scuplture class. It was like walking straight into Mean Girls.
After that I took a break and continued studying. It wasn’t until after one and a half year that I got back in the modelling industry. The reason was that I simply needed more money for my art projects – it costs you flesh and blood to study fine art! A friend encouraged me to enroll in an agency’s search for new faces. Everything started all again, with me awkwardly trying to learn how things work. But I guess you could only go with the flow, right?
The best and worst thing in modelling for me is the same thing, just like two sides of a coin – the endless posibilities and the archetypical ideals. As individuals, we’re different in many ways. Modelling allows you to expose your inner being freely, but it could also mean working under mainstream values.
I think what people are looking for in models is either a latent charm or a perfect sculpture. It’s these two combined that makes modelling challenging. It’s the paradox of trying to put both qualities into one mold. It’s the struggling of staying true to yourself or pretending to be someone else.
Maintaining the middle line is important. The question is, how to walk on this fine line of paradox with imagination, creativity, belief and confidence. The more obstacles, the more excitement. Being a model is a complicated thing, at once dazzling and confused.
One of the most important things that I’ve learnt is, respect that work is work. Everyone starts at a different point. Modelling has been girls’ dreams for ages. It’s fancy, enviable, and fulfulling but that’s not all. It’s also challenging, just like other careers demanding responsibility, flexibility and patience. Since I was entrusted with this task, I shall give my best shot. The value of being a model is the trust that my co-workers put on me, their faith on my capabilities.
My greatest aspiration is to live in the mountains – a house with big windows – on the east and west side so I can see the first add last glimpse of sunlight. All I ever wanted is a life without regrets. If you don’t know what you want to do in the future then just keep moving, maybe little by little, but surely you will get to somewhere in the end.
Follow Cheraims on instagram.